Ralph Paxton
He’s short, bald, wears hearing aids, and is almost as round as he is tall. But don’t you ever try to tell me that my husband, Ralph Paxton, is not a hero!
When Ralph and I married, I was a widowed mother of four school age children with a high school education and limited options. Ralph owned an auto parts store that my company sold janitorial supplies and uniform service to. I was the office clerk, and whenever he called I always thought that he was the nicest man to talk to, though we had never met.
One day he called and asked his usual cheery “And how are you this wonderful morning, Suzi?” and I told him it was my birthday, and he had better have a big order for me. After he gave me his order, he asked if my husband was taking me out for a nice birthday dinner, and I told him that I was a widow and was going to make my kids macaroni and cheese for dinner.
“That’s no fun,” Ralph said. “Every pretty lady deserves a nice dinner on her birthday. How about I take you to dinner?”
I told him that I was a lot of things, but at 35 years old, 5 foot tall and 155 pounds, and after four kids, pretty wasn’t one of them. He just laughed and said that depended on how you defined pretty.
I said I did not date, because I could not afford a babysitter. His reply was “Well get those kids dressed up nice, because I’m taking you all out to dinner tonight.” And he did!
We dated for three years, and then got married. My kids all loved Ralph from day one, and though he had never had children of his own, at age 43 he became a wonderful father. Could life get any better?
Maybe not, but it could sure get worse in a hurry! One day I discovered a lump in my right breast, and when the biopsy came back, it was cancer. I was terrified, but Ralph was calm and comforting. I said “What if I die? What will happen to my kids?” Ralph held me and said “You’re not going to die. I’m going to take care of you.”
“But what if I do? Who will take care of my kids?”
“Well, you won’t,” he assured me. “But if you ever do, I’ll still be here taking care of our kids.”
It was a long, hard battle, but somehow Ralph made it all better. He never missed a radiation appointment with me, he was there during the chemo, and when I lost all of my hair, he shaved his head so we’d match. I thought nothing could be worse than the news that I had cancer, but when the doctors told me that the treatments were not working and a radical mastectomy was necessary, I just wanted to die. Again, Ralph got me through it all.
The surgery worked, but I was so depressed and knew I looked hideous. I would not even look at my body at first after my operation. My husband tried to cheer me up and told me that it didn’t matter, he never liked that particular breast all that much anyway, the other was much nicer.
It didn’t work, and I told Ralph I knew he was going to be repulsed by my body. He was there when they took off the dressing the first time, and I watched his face, expecting the worst. All I saw was love. The love that has gotten me through my terrible illness and the love that helped me get well again. That was 15 years ago, and today I am cancer free, and I have never felt better, physically or emotionally, in my life. The power of love is amazing.
Submitted by Suzi Paxton
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